I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
