this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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