I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
