problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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