drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
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