So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
