Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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