just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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