I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
