the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
