im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I booty called her while she was in labor.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
