I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
