dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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