Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
