So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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