just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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