I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
