its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
PANTIES FOUND
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