I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
