so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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