My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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