11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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