How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
a search helicopter?!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
