No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
