He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
