Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
