ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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