Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
