isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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