Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
