i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
