my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
either way he was missing a nipple.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
