so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
