shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
