Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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