Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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