Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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