She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I want is dick and wine.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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