Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
