Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
