That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
