Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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