need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
