just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
