Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
