So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize