Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
