eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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