Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
