Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
