Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i've created a new STD.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
