Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
