who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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