what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
