They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
