Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
