I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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